Wednesday, May 14, 2008


Great, now I am being told I am a woman

I am so not liking this. I have been told its all in my head, literally. Well, my eye inside my head.

Let me esplain. I have vision problems related to another illness I have, and as such I have to see a eye doc at least twice a year. This isn’t the kind of eye doc that does your glasses, this is a guy that looks deep into the eye, and then blasts the chit out of it with a laser when he sees something that isn’t right. Well, maybe at 1000 blasts at a time. So it just happened that I was due to see the guy and two weeks before I am supposed to see him I notice one night watching the telly that I cant see chit out of the right eye. Now up to this time I have had problems with my left eye, so I always figured, well, at least I have one good eye, my right, that seems to be problem free. Noooooooo, it was feeling left out, so it decided to pull a fast one, it wanted TLC, it wanted its time in the sun, so to speak.

So I noticed that my eye developed a “nike” swoosh right at the mid-point of the right eye. Then over the next few days the swoosh filled in, becoming a half moon, but staying right where the imaginery cross hair would be if your eye had one. So the bottom line is that at a distance of an arm length, I could see objects sort of ok, it was like looking through some hair in front of your eye, a bit fuzzy, not clear, not sharp and in focus. But the killer is that reading, it’s a no go. And I work on the computer all day, and I read small government text, like 6 point small, and when I close my left eye, right where I want to focus, all I see is fuzzy dark. Not black, sort of like 20 percent shading that you can do on word texts. Open my left eye, its OK, but left eye closed, its Ray Charles time.

So I see the doc. People told me why did I wait, I said, well, it wasn’t getting worse, and besides, what, me worry?

He does his thing, drops from hell, making half the waiting room all wearing sunglasses in an otherwise dark room, the other half designated drivers like my wife trying to read three year old mags in the dark. Eyes dilated real wide, my Mediterranean blue eyes reduced to a huge black circle with the smallest blue circle at the very edge. He looks in, shines light into the eye, first white, then red, ruin a few more tests, his associate does the same thing, nope, nothing wrong. They cant find any damage to the optic nerve, which is a good thing, they cant find any hemorrhaging, another good thing, they cant see any color changes, but in spite of their pronouncement that my eyes are looking good, I cant see chit. It must be in my head they say.

F’ng great I say, I am now an official resident of the old wives club, a card carrying female. First I had my prostate ripped out, which is sort of like making me a woman, hysterectomly speaking, and now they tell me its all in my head.’

Whiskey. Tango. Fox.

Ok, when is my pedicure going to be done, before or after my bikini wax job. After all, its summer here in Texas, time for the sandals and Capri’s.


Bite me.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008


Happy Birthday Ann

Today would have been my daughters 31st birthday. She was born at 12:15 pm, a great mid-day birth. So this post is just 15 minutes past her exact time of arrival.

She was a precious daughter, and her life has given me so much to dwell on. But even though she is not here to enjoy it, I still think of today with fondness and happy times.

So Happy Birthday Ann

I look forward to when we will see each other again.

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