Friday, June 15, 2007
Permanent Body Flotation Devices
I have started to work out at a gym that has water aerobics. This week was my first week. They have one class that is done in deep water, I can touch bottom, but they give you a foam belt to wear that allows better flotation so you can spin in the water faster than if your feet are on bottom.
However, I am the only man in the class. There are some 25 women, ranging in age from mid 20's to mid 60's. All sizes, but mainly people, like myself, that suffer from "Remain At Table Too Long Everytime Syndrome", aka, RATTLES.
But the class workout shows a deceidily important advantage women have over men. Their permanent flotation devices, aka boobies, make them better positioned to spin in the water. With the belt on, they bob like corks. Me, lacking the above waterline flotation devises, spin like a top that is sitting in a pool of Play-doh.
So I flounder, taking on water faster than the Titanic, but also am faced with another dilemma. While I am spinning UNDER water, the view I have leaves me wishing I was near sighted. I mean, now I know why they dont shoot views of synchronized swimming from under water for Olympic Prime Time coverage. Somethings, like underwater swimming, and trying to spin yourself to health, are best left unseen. The twisting of legs, arms, wide open shots and the like, well, I may be kinky at times, but that is more kink than I would wish to have.
That is my two cents, but I could also be plain out of money today!
(Editors note, thats me, the editor...No play-doh was harmed in doing this rant.)
However, I am the only man in the class. There are some 25 women, ranging in age from mid 20's to mid 60's. All sizes, but mainly people, like myself, that suffer from "Remain At Table Too Long Everytime Syndrome", aka, RATTLES.
But the class workout shows a deceidily important advantage women have over men. Their permanent flotation devices, aka boobies, make them better positioned to spin in the water. With the belt on, they bob like corks. Me, lacking the above waterline flotation devises, spin like a top that is sitting in a pool of Play-doh.
So I flounder, taking on water faster than the Titanic, but also am faced with another dilemma. While I am spinning UNDER water, the view I have leaves me wishing I was near sighted. I mean, now I know why they dont shoot views of synchronized swimming from under water for Olympic Prime Time coverage. Somethings, like underwater swimming, and trying to spin yourself to health, are best left unseen. The twisting of legs, arms, wide open shots and the like, well, I may be kinky at times, but that is more kink than I would wish to have.
That is my two cents, but I could also be plain out of money today!
(Editors note, thats me, the editor...No play-doh was harmed in doing this rant.)
# posted by LarryLilly @ 9:58 AM 
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I like that RATTLES acronym--good one:)
Sounds like your water aerobics class will keep you on your toes. hehe Next time you go under water remember to keep your eyes closed, maybe you'll save yourself the visual trauma:)
Two single sons? Too bad we weren't neighbors, I'd be asking for an introduction:D
Sounds like your water aerobics class will keep you on your toes. hehe Next time you go under water remember to keep your eyes closed, maybe you'll save yourself the visual trauma:)
Two single sons? Too bad we weren't neighbors, I'd be asking for an introduction:D
Why do I have the irresistible desire to start chanting "Weebles Wobble but they don't fall down!" :)
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