Friday, December 01, 2006
Points in Time
Points in time.
Events in time create certain permanent branding within the psyche, a mark so deep, it shows up on both sides. This weekend is such an event. It was 14 years ago this weekend, the weekend after thanksgiving day, that my daughter Ann lost her battle with the forces that were destroying her from within. The actual dates are not quite on, but it’s the specific weekend that is permanently etched in my mind. Now, I can speak of it almost in a historical tone, the emotions have been subdued in their attachment in my voice, my eyes don’t tear the way they used to when I talk of her. I was reminded of it yesterday almost as a casual event. I would of course see the calendar, turn the calendar over, a new month, December, Oh, THAT month and remember the time, Dec 4-6, then dwell on her life. Where I work, a large federal agency, we are a sucker for blood drives. The local blood bank comes here every two months, like clockwork. Last week, they showed up, I had been seeing the hallway notices. I had donated in the past. With certain meds, they used to not allow donations, but now, I have been diagnosed with prostate cancer, so i couldnt donate. I still went to tell them, and get my name off the list Before I could tell the first contact, the lady asked me if I wanted to join the bone marrow registary. I asked what did that entail. She said that they just take a sample when they draw the donation, and I get registered into a data base in the event someone needs a bone marrow donation. She then said, “doing so is the step to being a donor of life”. The words struck a chord in me, and I looked at her and said, “Oh, I am already that. My daughter’s heart, lungs and kidneys were donated, uh, lets see, 14 years ago. In fact, 14 years ago this weekend.” She looked at me, and her smile had turned upside down, and she just patted my shoulder. On this weekend, I often think of the people that her organs went to. I wonder if they are still alive, especially the then twenty year old man that got her lungs. He had cystic fibrosis, and he was the only one that took the time to write a thank you note after he was well enough to do so. I never knew his name, the letters are sent through an agency, and names are left off. So at this point in time, I wonder how they are doing. For just as I am seeing this point in time as the time when I lost my daughters future, missing the life that my daughter meant to me, I wonder and hope that they also look at this point in time, and thank her for the gift she gave them, and give them a reason to celebrate this point in their time.
I will be off a few days as my sons come in for a tween thanksgiving day, christmas day and just before I get my prostate ripped out. I will return, with a smile next thursday.
peace out
:-)
Events in time create certain permanent branding within the psyche, a mark so deep, it shows up on both sides. This weekend is such an event. It was 14 years ago this weekend, the weekend after thanksgiving day, that my daughter Ann lost her battle with the forces that were destroying her from within. The actual dates are not quite on, but it’s the specific weekend that is permanently etched in my mind. Now, I can speak of it almost in a historical tone, the emotions have been subdued in their attachment in my voice, my eyes don’t tear the way they used to when I talk of her. I was reminded of it yesterday almost as a casual event. I would of course see the calendar, turn the calendar over, a new month, December, Oh, THAT month and remember the time, Dec 4-6, then dwell on her life. Where I work, a large federal agency, we are a sucker for blood drives. The local blood bank comes here every two months, like clockwork. Last week, they showed up, I had been seeing the hallway notices. I had donated in the past. With certain meds, they used to not allow donations, but now, I have been diagnosed with prostate cancer, so i couldnt donate. I still went to tell them, and get my name off the list Before I could tell the first contact, the lady asked me if I wanted to join the bone marrow registary. I asked what did that entail. She said that they just take a sample when they draw the donation, and I get registered into a data base in the event someone needs a bone marrow donation. She then said, “doing so is the step to being a donor of life”. The words struck a chord in me, and I looked at her and said, “Oh, I am already that. My daughter’s heart, lungs and kidneys were donated, uh, lets see, 14 years ago. In fact, 14 years ago this weekend.” She looked at me, and her smile had turned upside down, and she just patted my shoulder. On this weekend, I often think of the people that her organs went to. I wonder if they are still alive, especially the then twenty year old man that got her lungs. He had cystic fibrosis, and he was the only one that took the time to write a thank you note after he was well enough to do so. I never knew his name, the letters are sent through an agency, and names are left off. So at this point in time, I wonder how they are doing. For just as I am seeing this point in time as the time when I lost my daughters future, missing the life that my daughter meant to me, I wonder and hope that they also look at this point in time, and thank her for the gift she gave them, and give them a reason to celebrate this point in their time.
I will be off a few days as my sons come in for a tween thanksgiving day, christmas day and just before I get my prostate ripped out. I will return, with a smile next thursday.
peace out
:-)
Pretty useless things
Lists of things pretty useless, post at will
You might be surprised with some of the things you learn about people you think you know!
1. IF YOU COULD BUILD A HOUSE ANYWHERE WHERE WOULD IT BE?
Coast of Maine, heck, ANY coast. Even the Jersey shore!
2. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE ARTICLE OF CLOTHING?
Shorts
3. FAVORITE PHYSICAL FEATURE OF THE OPPOSITE SEX?
Eyes, they are the door way to the soul!
4. THE LAST CD THAT YOU BOUGHT?
Carlos Santana
5. FAVORITE PLACE TO BE?
Camping with my wife
6. WHERE'S YOUR LEAST FAVORITE PLACE TO BE?
Driving in Dallas
7. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE PLACE TO BE MASSAGED?
Head
8. WHAT'S MOST IMPORTANT, STRONG IN MIND OR STRONG IN BODY?
Mind
9. WHAT TIME DO YOU WAKE IN THE MORNING?
5:15 AM
10. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE KITCHEN APPLIANCE?
Outside gas grill, I do most of the cooking, and its outdoors, on the gas grill, winter, summer, rain, it doesn’t matter, and it doesn’t smell up the house!
11. WHAT MAKES YOU REALLY ANGRY?
I don’t really get angry at people. I just don’t listen to the ones that irritate me with narrow views.
12. IF YOU COULD PLAY ANY INSTRUMENT, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
Piano
13. FAVORITE COLOR?
Mediterranean blue of course, my eye color!
14. WHICH DO YOU PREFER, SPORTS CAR OR SUV?
Well, if given just that choice, I guess the SUV, I sure know I cant haul much furniture wood with a sports car, or Samantha and the wolf-dog.
15. DO YOU BELIEVE IN AFTERLIFE?
Yes, I believe that many people will still be alive after I’m gone.
16. FAVORITE CHILDREN'S BOOK?
Its been a long time, but I would say James and the Giant Peach by Roald Dahl.
17. YOUR FAVORITE SEASON?
Spring, with Fall a close second
18.If you could have ONE SUPER POWER, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
To rid the world of insensitive people, but then, that would make me need to get rid of myself, since thinking that it would be good to get rid of insensitive people is to become an insensitive person myself, so it would be something like making the blind see, and the lame walk, and the evil become good, and the good to become gooder, and to allow for misspellings in spelling tests.
19. IF YOU HAVE A TATTOO, WHAT IS IT?
Why? My arms are pretty tattoo’d by skin cancer, I guess I don’t need man made ones now do I?
20. CAN YOU JUGGLE?
Of course, I juggle my dislike of work with my needing the money to have fun away from it.
21. THE ONE PERSON FROM YOUR PAST YOU WISH YOU COULD GO BACK AND TALK TO?
My daughter Ann, and try to show her that suicide wasn’t the only way, nor the right way.
22. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE DAY?
Any day spent with my wife, which is generally a day away from work.
23. WHAT'S IN THE TRUNK OF YOUR CAR?
If there are any bodies, it was not my fault. Otherwise, jumper cables, blanket, hopefully a spare tire with air in it, a big map book, a folding chair, and carpet fuzz.
24. WHICH DO YOU PREFER, SUSHI OR HAMBURGER?
Hamburger, I like my fish to at least dance quickly across some heat!
25. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CARTOON CHARACTER?
RoadRunner
26.WHAT T IS YOUR FAVORITE MEAL?
Chile rellenos
27. WHAT/WHO DO YOU REALLY LOVE?
My wife and kids
28. PAPER OR PLASTIC?
Plastic, paper uses trees, plastic is recylced.
29. CASH, CHECKS OR CREDIT CARDS SILLY?
Oh, well, I wrote one check in 2004. Since then I use my bank card.
30. ARE YOU HAPPY WITH YOUR LIFE?
Yes, its too much work being sad.
You might be surprised with some of the things you learn about people you think you know!
1. IF YOU COULD BUILD A HOUSE ANYWHERE WHERE WOULD IT BE?
Coast of Maine, heck, ANY coast. Even the Jersey shore!
2. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE ARTICLE OF CLOTHING?
Shorts
3. FAVORITE PHYSICAL FEATURE OF THE OPPOSITE SEX?
Eyes, they are the door way to the soul!
4. THE LAST CD THAT YOU BOUGHT?
Carlos Santana
5. FAVORITE PLACE TO BE?
Camping with my wife
6. WHERE'S YOUR LEAST FAVORITE PLACE TO BE?
Driving in Dallas
7. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE PLACE TO BE MASSAGED?
Head
8. WHAT'S MOST IMPORTANT, STRONG IN MIND OR STRONG IN BODY?
Mind
9. WHAT TIME DO YOU WAKE IN THE MORNING?
5:15 AM
10. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE KITCHEN APPLIANCE?
Outside gas grill, I do most of the cooking, and its outdoors, on the gas grill, winter, summer, rain, it doesn’t matter, and it doesn’t smell up the house!
11. WHAT MAKES YOU REALLY ANGRY?
I don’t really get angry at people. I just don’t listen to the ones that irritate me with narrow views.
12. IF YOU COULD PLAY ANY INSTRUMENT, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
Piano
13. FAVORITE COLOR?
Mediterranean blue of course, my eye color!
14. WHICH DO YOU PREFER, SPORTS CAR OR SUV?
Well, if given just that choice, I guess the SUV, I sure know I cant haul much furniture wood with a sports car, or Samantha and the wolf-dog.
15. DO YOU BELIEVE IN AFTERLIFE?
Yes, I believe that many people will still be alive after I’m gone.
16. FAVORITE CHILDREN'S BOOK?
Its been a long time, but I would say James and the Giant Peach by Roald Dahl.
17. YOUR FAVORITE SEASON?
Spring, with Fall a close second
18.If you could have ONE SUPER POWER, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
To rid the world of insensitive people, but then, that would make me need to get rid of myself, since thinking that it would be good to get rid of insensitive people is to become an insensitive person myself, so it would be something like making the blind see, and the lame walk, and the evil become good, and the good to become gooder, and to allow for misspellings in spelling tests.
19. IF YOU HAVE A TATTOO, WHAT IS IT?
Why? My arms are pretty tattoo’d by skin cancer, I guess I don’t need man made ones now do I?
20. CAN YOU JUGGLE?
Of course, I juggle my dislike of work with my needing the money to have fun away from it.
21. THE ONE PERSON FROM YOUR PAST YOU WISH YOU COULD GO BACK AND TALK TO?
My daughter Ann, and try to show her that suicide wasn’t the only way, nor the right way.
22. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE DAY?
Any day spent with my wife, which is generally a day away from work.
23. WHAT'S IN THE TRUNK OF YOUR CAR?
If there are any bodies, it was not my fault. Otherwise, jumper cables, blanket, hopefully a spare tire with air in it, a big map book, a folding chair, and carpet fuzz.
24. WHICH DO YOU PREFER, SUSHI OR HAMBURGER?
Hamburger, I like my fish to at least dance quickly across some heat!
25. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CARTOON CHARACTER?
RoadRunner
26.WHAT T IS YOUR FAVORITE MEAL?
Chile rellenos
27. WHAT/WHO DO YOU REALLY LOVE?
My wife and kids
28. PAPER OR PLASTIC?
Plastic, paper uses trees, plastic is recylced.
29. CASH, CHECKS OR CREDIT CARDS SILLY?
Oh, well, I wrote one check in 2004. Since then I use my bank card.
30. ARE YOU HAPPY WITH YOUR LIFE?
Yes, its too much work being sad.
